


Link Needs An Exorcist

by ShahHira



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Domestic Fluff (brief), Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Selectively Mute Link, Smut, but so does sidon, heavily implied, it works out, link makes bad decisions, the main reason why we wrote this honestly, tons of bad humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 12:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15073313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShahHira/pseuds/ShahHira
Summary: What does Link need to do to get a break around here?





	Link Needs An Exorcist

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is my first foray into the Sidlink fandom! After impulse-buying botw a year late and playing for 8 straight days it was only a matter of time before I, too, had been stricken by the allure of Prince Fishman and HYAAAH!!!
> 
> But forreal, big shoutout to the wonderful Sidlink community on Tumblr for giving me the warmest welcome - and BIIIIIGGGG shoutout to the one who kickstarted this fic [thealluringsink](http://thealluringsink.tumblr.com/). Go follow them on Tumblr! They were the one who birthed this hilarious monstrosity (and also wrote like, half of it but they don't have a ao3).
> 
> Enjoy our bad humor

“Goodness Link, I had no idea you could scream so loud.”

Sidon thrusts his hips forward again, pressing down with the meat of his wide thigh once more and successfully pulling another whimper from Link. Sweat covers the two of them, a film of moisture uncomfortably sticking to tangled limbs. Sheets once neatly arranged now lay crumpled on the Prince’s floor.

Sidon is not complaining, though. They've spent the past hour here, after exchanging the thinnest of pleasantries with everyone in Zora’s Domain and stealing away to the Prince's quarters. There is a lot of catching up to do after Link's month-long absence.

And catch up they shall as Sidon brings his lips over to a shoulder, scanning for a sensitive spot. “What could it be that is making you do that, I wonder,” he hums deeply against the flushed skin, delighting in the writhing form beneath him. 

Link bares his teeth in response, halfway through a breathless growl before it devolves into another moan. Sidon grins at that; as much as he’s eager for every opportunity to hear Link’s voice, there's no chance of him speaking when all the mighty Champion of Hyrule can do is shut his eyes in a mixture of pleasure and a delicious sort of frustration. His mouth hangs open, little breaths punctuating the air between them. Every part of him is loose and relaxed; despite the teasing there’s not an ounce of tension in his muscles.

It makes Sidon’s heart jump in joy - and exhilaration, when the Prince feels the primal way vise-like hands squeeze his hips.

Those warm hands are filled with new intent. They slowly trail downwards.

Sidon pillows his head, casually as he can manage. “Up for another round?”

With sudden decisiveness in his eyes, Link flips Sidon until he’s straddling his hips, actions driven by the intense desire to match Sidon’s own confidence. 

“I am if you are,” Link signs before returning his hands to gently caressing the prince’s chest and around his gills. Despite their height difference, Link holds Sidon’s intense gaze as he begins again, this time reveling in his control.

He pushes legs apart, dips down to a pearly smooth abdomen. Locks of messy golden hair hide his face from view, but there’s no mistaking the sweet caress of lips making their way down, down, down…

Link smiles at Sidon’s gasp. He presses his grin into shuddering skin. Giggles mischievously when shaky hands cup the arch of his ears, stroking impatiently. 

Link blinks languidly, making sure his long eyelashes are within tickling reach. Each catch of breath makes his blood sing, not unlike the hyperfocus that battle gives him. It must be something instinctual, something so ingrained that no century long stasis can completely remove. Just like his muscle memory: the stances he takes in combat, the sword in his grip an extension of himself, the way Link's lips meld with quivering flesh. Link loves the absolute, reassuring normalcy of everything they’re doing right now despite never having been this intimate before. He loves Sidon’s wit, playful confidence, and the unashamed, trusting way he asks for exactly what he wants. He loves the way he can understand Sidon through his moans, his quivers, his taste and smell, without even having to see his face. The squeeze around his heart is too strong to ignore. He loves Sidon.

Still, this love is different. Not like the grateful love he feels for sweet Paya, nor the reverent love for Princess Zelda or the amused and protective love for the children of Hateno. His love for Sidon is solid like little else in his world, enduring and old and familiar. He’s loved this way before.

“Mipha,” Link gasps silently in recognition as Sidon unceremoniously releases onto Link’s face. 

And just like that, Link is frozen as confusion and shock and embarrassment and memories come crashing down around him.

“My dear Link? Is everything alright?”

Sidon’s voice is soft with adoration, and something else. Concern. He must have noticed the way Link has gone still. 

Does Sidon know? Link’s chest goes tight, and suddenly he feels like the air in his lungs has turned to water with the growing realization - how much he loves him, how his every thought on his quest to slay Calamity Ganon always manages to make its way back to Sidon. How he felt the same way for Mipha, and how with sudden, painful clarity he realizes exactly how she is missing from the world.

“I'm fine,” he surprises himself by speaking. “I'm… more than fine. Really.” The words come unbidden. He closes his eyes, shakes his head. Covers up his inner thoughts with a chuckle. He presses a cheek to Sidon's stomach to hide his frayed nerves, but he can’t hide his pounding heart or the tears on his face.

When Prince Sidon opens his eyes after what was arguably the most enjoyable orgasm of his life, he sees his distraught lover in tears and the concerned ghost of his sister hovering behind him.

Now, Sidon's had his fair share of demons to fight, both figuratively and literally; that Lynel with shock arrows at Shatterback Point was enough nightmare fuel for any Zora. But this… this is just too on the nose. As the ghostly-pale green of Mipha’s spectre floats over the two, his sister's soft-spoken voice, albeit ghostly, almost jerks out tears of his own.

“Um…”

Silver jewelry clinks minutely as she adjusts her grip on her Lightscale Trident. Her pained expression makes it clear she does not want to be here.

“Um, I fear… I may have… made a mistake…”

A deceptively calm part of Sidon makes note of this, and tries to rationalize what he is seeing.

After ten solid seconds of deep thinking that would have the Zora Elders disappointed were he in a diplomatic situation that would call for his famously quick thinking, all he comes up with is a hoarsely whispered, and  _ very _ un-princely “what the fuck.”

“Sidon, you brain-dead fish!” Mipha suddenly yelps. “Cover yourself before I am scarred in the afterlife as well!”

The shriek is jarring coming from his typically calm and collected sister. It has Sidon complying immediately, just as lost for words as Link.

As suddenly as her outburst Mipha deflates, slowly hovering over to Link’s side. “Link?” she asks, reaching a tentative hand out to his back. “Are you alright?”

She can't be sure, but she thinks she sees him nod. He refuses to uncover his face or remove it from Sidon’s… lower half. Trying her hardest not to think about what she just walked - floated - into, she explains, “I sensed your vitals go up. I was worried that you were in serious danger.”

Much as she would love to tell Sidon all the things she never got to say and wipe that dumbfounded look from his face, Mipha desperately wishes she were anywhere but here.

“I-It seems I am not needed after all.” She begins to lose traction as uncomfortable silence continues to reign. “I shall, um, take my leave.”

This seems to snap Sidon out of his funk. He scrambles to sit up, a wealth of emotions pouring through his chest. He can't decide which one to focus on: incomprehensible joy, the likes of which he hasn't felt for eons; regret, however unfounded, for not protecting his sister. Helpless, unreasonable anger at her for leaving him alone, and what would undoubtedly end in tearful demands for answers she might never have in a million years.

“W-wait!” he pleads, embarrassing situation temporarily forgotten. “There are so many things I have to ask-”

“No, no, none of that!” Mipha shies away, a dainty finger frantically rebuffing him. “I will go… over there.”

Her trident points vaguely upwards and away from the two. And she's off, backpedaling as quickly as a ghost can manage.

“Link? You  _ are _ okay, right?” Mipha’s voice carries from Sidon's bedroom door. 

Link, still refusing to show his face, answers with a weak thumbs-up.

“Good!” She exclaims, suddenly chipper. And then:

“Don't forget to use protection!”

Teary-eyed and in utter shock, Sidon barely has time to process his late sister’s sudden appearance before a loud, jubilant presence makes himself known when his ethereal form, much larger than Mipha’s, fills the room.

“DARUK’S PROTECTION IS NOW READY TO ROLL!”

Link is quick to react in his already high-strung state, instinctively throwing up the spherical shield and sending both himself and Sidon bouncing away from the bed.

“Woah, that one sent you flying! What’re you doin’, kid, fighting three hinoxes-  _ oh _ .”

The distinct, energetic voice of the mighty Daruk, fiercest warrior of Eldin, crumples to silence when he takes in the scene he’s materialized into: Link, naked, motionless and face-down on the bedroom floor. Pivoting around, he sees a tall…  _ very _ tall… distraught-looking Zora.

Daruk the Immovable, the Goron Champion, chosen by the Princess of Hyrule herself, laughs weakly.

“I am definitely missing something here.” A lot of somethings, actually. “I'm just gonna… I'm just gonna go.”  

Resigning himself to his new place on the floor, Link curls up and wails. 

“Oh, Link… here, I’m here,” Sidon speaks gently, his own emotional trauma ignored as he makes his way across the room. However, this time he is blocked by yet another spirit. 

“Need a lift?” Revali jeers at the fallen champion, the look in his eyes telling Link that he knows exactly how he ended up as a concussed tangle of limbs slightly resembling an underdressed bokoblin.

Instead of answering, Link covers his face once more. 

“Well it’s good to know  _ one _ of us is getting off but really don’t you have other things to do? Hmm?”

Sidon does not relent in his approach to comfort Link, forcing Revali to turn and face the source of his distraction. Recognition lights up his face and he laughs. 

“Mipha’s kid brother? Seriously?!”

Seemingly oblivious to Link’s despair and Sidon’s mounting annoyance, Revali continues his show of laughing until breathless, holding his gut and keeling over in midair.

“I know you like to shoot for things way out of your league but this? Are you trying to compensate for something?”

The apparition dissipates as Link throws himself at the Rito in rage, only to fall into Sidon’s steady embrace. 

“Breathe, Link. Do not think on a single word he said,” Sidon says with a conviction that belies his trembling voice.

Sidon carries Link back to the bed even as he struggles minutely, covering him and stroking his hair as he fumes.

“I think that’s enough for tonight, don’t you?”

Link can only bark out a dry laugh, but his appreciation is clear in the way he leans into Sidon’s touch and kisses his wrist. 

“Is this… a regular occurence?” 

Link nods solemnly where he’s slumped into Sidon’s body, freeing his hands to sign:

“They watch out for me. Mostly. Sometimes I wish spirits could knock.”

Sidon’s warm chuckle has Link’s heart lifting a bit. 

“Revali is an asshole.”

“I could not agree more, my dear.”

“I’m sorry that happened. I really wanted our first time to be more...uneventful.”

Sidon hesitates before speaking his curiosity. “What exactly did happen?”

“The spirits of the champions follow me.”

“Yes, you told me… and they come to you when you are in distress?”

Link can’t meet Sidon’s eyes as he signs in choppy, unsure motions; “you taste like your sister.”

“What.”

Sidon had a vague idea of what Link meant, had seen the way he froze and quivered before Mipha’s statue and knew that the most unexpected things reawakened his memories. But Link’s phrasing was so uncomfortably strange that he was not even shocked when a fourth spirit appeared, leaning on the bed with an expression like a concerned but amused parent.

“Honey, I wasn’t going to get involved but that was just regrettable,” said Urbosa as Link refused to look at her.

“Anyone have anything else to say?” Link growls into Sidon’s chest.

The room is silent.

“Seriously, her  _ brother? _ I mean-”

“Shut up Revali,” the rest of the Champions say in unison.

Link shouts in frustration before storming out of the prince’s room, half clothed, before Sidon can stop him. He gives up his exasperated pursuit when Link dissolves into streams of blue light, returning to his empty bed and the company of lingering spirits. 

“Must you torture him so? He is allowed his own life,” he says weakly to the air. No reply comes.

After contemplating the events of the evening in front of his sister’s statue and receiving no answers, Sidon resolves to at least assure Link that he holds no grudges for what was ultimately a supernaturally awkward date… whenever he returns, that is. Hours later he is roused from fitful sleep by a terrible smell - and a gleeful looking Link.

“Where have you been? I was worried-” 

Link waves a strange looking bottle, apparently the source of the smell, before downing it with a grimace. Sidon continues to look at him expectantly.

“Kilton,” Link fingerspells.

“The strange Hylian who trades monster guts for cryptocurrency?” 

Link nods, then giggles far to energetically for this hour of the night.

“It smells so bad that spirits leave you alone,” he signs with shaking hands as he wheezes.

“It will send more than spirits away,” Sidon groans before turning away from Link.

Sidon’s attempts at feigning sleep are foiled when he is forced to grab Link’s shoulders to stop his bouncing. Having won Sidon’s attention, Link signs:

“Sex. Now.”

“Not on your life. Get rid of that smell and I may consider it,” Sidon says with a kiss to Link’s nose and a shove off the bed and towards the baths.

A pause in Link’s footsteps has Sidon looking his way once more, pupils wide to make out Link’s signs in the dark.

“But how will I-”

“Have you tried talking to them?”

Link considers this for a moment before turning and walking away once more.

-

The next time Sidon wakes, it is to a relievingly pleasant smell. 

“Breakfast?” Link voices softly while setting up the meal. He looks positively radiant.

“I take it you are feeling better, then?” Sidon mumbles with grogginess in his voice.

“Mhm,” Link hums, leaning forward to spoon-feed his sleepy prince a mouthful of tasty stew.

“Dash guh,” Sidon slurs with his mouth still full, making Link laugh.

The sound is light and unburdened, and it's music to Sidon's ears in the face of last night's drama. When Link finishes setting up he is pleasantly surprised when Sidon pulls him into his lap and embraces him tenderly.

“Thank you so much Link, this is so very sweet of you. I do not wish to spoil the mood but I do need to talk to you.”

Link reaches up to cradle Sidon’s face and murmurs, “It’s alright. I want to talk to you too.”

“Excellent!” Sidon nearly shouts, directly into Link’s ear. Light on his feet as ever, Link glides off Sidon’s lap and assumes a slightly defensive pose before signing:

“Don’t freak out but I need you to tell me how to find the black market.”

Sidon does not freak out. Externally, that is. He only crosses his arms and stares with an impassive expression.

“Come on, you’re the damn prince. I know you know,” Link teases.

“And why would I tell you?”

“I took your advice and talked to the spirits.”

Sidon nods, admittedly impressed - this statement is, after all, coming from Link. “And?”

“I’ve decided I need an exorcist. I freed the Divine Beasts only because they were damn nuisances to the lands they were built to protect. I'll take my chances with Ganon all by myself if I have to. Mipha can stay but she’s on thin fucking ice.”

Link glowers with an intensity that had Sidon flustered enough to drop his spoon. This isn't what he meant by confronting the issue. But…

Sidon sits up a bit straighter, clearing his throat. “I shall see what I can do,” he primly acquiesces against his better judgement. But well, it's a step in the right direction. Goddess knows he's under so much pressure; who is Sidon to stop him from finding any sort of relief from those problems?

_ It's unhealthy _ , he grumbles in the privacy of his mind, pushing his meal around. His gaze drifts to Link's tanned skin, cataloguing new scars and burn marks wrapping around his torso.  _ It's also unhealthy to get shot at by rogue Guardians. _ He stops mid-chew. Healthy outlets, healthy outlets, healthy outlets.  _ C’mon, Sidon, be the bigger Zora here. _

He takes a bite of lukewarm breakfast, thinking. Link has mentioned his love of shield-surfing, whatever that means. The children love to play with him, and the feeling seems to be mutual. The spirits...

The indignation of last night makes him choke on his food. He sets his jaw, swallows - then grins wickedly, an idea forming. You know, payback doesn't seem so morally objectionable.


End file.
